


Yeah, I'm gay: G-super A-fucking Y-depressed

by Iluvunicorns327



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Albino Dave Strider, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Depression, Gay Dave Strider, Homophobic Language, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Like, M/M, Ouch, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, and albino people don't actually have red eyes. the more you know!, becuase he's albino, but it's also a lot of dave and dirk, he doesn't have red eyes in this, listen. this is a davekat story, so just f y i, that brotherly relationship is like half of it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-10-26 11:42:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17745284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iluvunicorns327/pseuds/Iluvunicorns327
Summary: You name is DAVE STRIDER and if there are two things you're sure about yourself: you're straight and don’t need any help.You certainly don’t need to move across the country to live with your sisters.Ignore those tags.They're... uh...Ironic.





	1. ==> Dave: Get your ass beat

DAVE ==> Get your ass beat.

 

You name is DAVE STRIDER, and you were kind of in the process of doing that before the reader so rudely interrupted you.

So yeah, you don’t need to FUCK-

Your inner monologue is cut off by another fucking smuppet hitting you in the chest. You don’t even know where Bro got this one from, he wasn’t holding anything a moment ago. You’re pushed back by that super-cool-that's-all-there-really-is-to-say-on-the-mater plush rump into the familiar concrete of the roof. The rough texture rips up your t-shirt and your back- Bro threw that fucking smuppet at superhuman speed. It’s super cool. Your back is scratched to all hell, and it hurts like a bitch. So. Cool.

Speaking of (or thinking of?) Bro, he’s standing above you know. He holds his sick ass katana like he doesn’t give a shit, his fingers wrapped loosely around it. He hasn’t even broken a sweat, his face as stoic and unnerving as always.

“Heh.” You say, breathlessly. “It’s been like, half an hour Bro, I think it’s time to-” You barely have time to think before you his katana coming right at your chest. You roll out of the way, cursing. Goddamnit, you’re such an idiot, you were off guard-

The sword collides with your arm this time, leaving you with a pretty nasty gash. You instinctively drop your own cheap piece of shit sword and grab at the wound. Bro takes that opportunity to grab you by the throat and push you against the AC unit. It’s a hunk of metal in the middle of Texas on a fucking roof, so of course, it’s scalding hot. You shout a little as it burns your already scratched up back. Bro’s grip on your throat doesn’t loosen. Your shades fell off of your face, leaving your sensitive eyes to the mercy of the sun. You're lucky it's setting. Tear prick in your eyes, and when you gasp for a breath you’re suddenly a million times more aware of the hand around your throat. You can’t fucking breathe.

“Tell me everything you did wrong there, Lil’ man,” he says. There’s no emotion in his voice.

“I... fuck...” It’s hard to talk. Can’t waste time cursing, you don’t have enough air to do that. “Stance... not wide enough... ugh.” You expect him to let you down. He doesn’t

“What else?”

Your eyes widen. You can see him, lit from behind as the glowing red Texan sun sets in the distance. His shades reflect that light, making his eyes look as if they are red. His grip remains ironclad around your throat. You can feel your hands moved up on their own, clawing at his hand. They don’t do anything to stop him. You're dizzy. You can’t think.

“I.. Bro.. please... I can’t... Breathe...” You gasp out.

“What. else. Did. you. fuck. up.” He growls through gritted teeth. Your lungs are burning, burning just like your back, just like the red hot sun that’s disappearing behind the Houston skyline. They gasp for air they can’t reach. You make petty attempts to rip his hand off of you, reaching and kicking, but you don’t have the energy to do any real damage. Your vision is starting to fade. You feel your arms fall to your sides.

This, you think, is such a pathetic way to die.

At the last minute, he drops you. You crumple the ground, just like one of his puppets. You gasp for air, and it tastes like sweat and blood and iron and heat and desperation, and your so fucking thankful it’s there. You’re coughing and you think you might start coughing blood, shit, god you're so pathetic, fuck.

“How are you supposed to improve if you can’t tell me what you did wrong?” Bro is still standing over you, and you turn up at him. He’s disappointed. The strife the next day is always ten times worse if he’s disappointed. You’re such a fuckup.

“I’m... I’m sorry..” He throws your cheap sword at you, and fuck, it cuts up your legs but you deserve it, whatever. You don’t even know when he picked it up.

“Clean this shit up.” He says. In a flash, he’s gone. You’re gonna need to get get a fucking rag and sop up all the blood, pick up all the fucking puppet guts everywhere, and stitch up the gash you got in your arm.

You're angry. You’re angry at Dirk for dying, you're angry at the goddamn puppets everywhere, you're angry at the sun because you definitely have a burn, but most of all? You’re angry at yourself.

 

* * *

 

==> TWO YEARS LATER

 

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you hate this bullshit. You’re on a road trip, making the day-long-non-stop journey to New York from Houston, Starring: The melted jolly rancher on the seat next to you yours, a 90-something-year-old dude who your not sure is sleeping or dead, and a mother with three kids with her. And, the star of the show, a lack of cell service for the past two hours. Public transit fucking sucks. You’ve been on this particular train for about 5 hours at this point, and approximately 0 of those have been spent sleeping. You would think that CPS of the FBI or whoever the fuck takes care of a kid when his guardian is arrested would, I don’t know, do anything to take care of them afterward? But apparently, it’s more just going, “Nope! Here’s a one-way ticket to New York to live with your alcoholic mother. Have fun!”

Whatever. At least you’ll be seeing Rose and Roxy.

Music blasts out of your left earbud (the right one stopped working about 6 months ago and you haven’t bothered getting new ones) as your head bumps against the window. The landscape outside is pretty drab - trees, mountains, and more trees. Jade would probably love this shit, but you’ve never been much of a nature person.

The song your listening to fades out as the next one starts up. You don’t have much music actually downloaded onto your phone since you can usually rely on streaming. You’ve probably heard this song about three times so far. You sigh, deciding that checking your phone won’t hurt and, oh shit. You actually have service. It’s only 3G, but it should be enough to Pester your sisters.

 

 

\--  turntechGodhead [TG] responded to memo “super awesome 10/10 ganarly hang out swad ftw!!!” at 6:27 PM--

 

 

TG1: sup ladies

 

TG1: guess who has service again

 

TG2: oh shit!!!!!1 there he is!!!

 

TT: I’m going to take a random guess here.

 

TT: Could it be, that the person who has service, is you, my dear brother?

 

TG1: you got me

 

TG1: you saw right through my ingenious disguise

 

TG2: wait when was a disguise involved lol

 

TG1: good question

 

TT: That doesn’t answer the question.

 

TG1: good observation

 

TG2: hows the drive goibg????

 

TG2: *going

 

TT: Do you have news on whether or not old ass dude [sic] is dead or sleeping?

 

TG2: my bets still on dead lol

 

TG1: drives going good we just got into new york

 

TG1: old dude is still unmoving

 

TG1: the mystery remains unsolved my meddling dudes

 

TT: Damn. I wanted to see another dead body.

 

TG1: im gonna ignore the implications of that sentence and move on

 

TT: As you should.

 

TG1: so hows shit at palace de lalonde

 

TG2: p good

 

TG2: nothing is happening

 

TG2: dont even like, think about wehter anything is happeing right nwo

 

TG2: bcuz nothing is

 

TG2: the amount of things hapenign up in this house remains at a solid zero

 

TG2: im not even gonna bother fixing all those typos you get the idea

 

TG1: well thats about the least suspicious thing ive ever heard in my life.

 

TG1: so i will take you at your word

 

TT: Well, I am working on my schoolwork.

 

TT: Which you will also have to do soon.

 

TG1: oh shit

 

TG1: damn nevermind im turning this bus around

 

TG2: no!!!!!!

 

TT: If you turn that bus around I will make you regret all of your life choices, young man.

 

TG1: were twins im not younger than you

 

TT: And who was born first?

 

TG1: it was by 15 fucking minutes it means nothing

 

TG2: the court of roxy lalonde (tm) has ruled that it means everything and dave is the baby baby boy of this family

 

TT: Well would you look at that. It seems that Dave is the baby, baby boy of this family.

 

TG1: fuck you both honestly

 

TT: No thank you, I’m not particularly interested in incest.

 

TG2: dshfajskdhfkashdfkjhdfkjhadkjhjfh rOSE

 

TG1: i hate this family

 

TG2: but i thought you wanted to fuck us

 

TG2: *wonk

 

You’re suddenly startled out of the conversation by a voice crackling out through the loudspeaker.

“Attention passengers: the train will be entering Skaia station in the next half hour.” Finally, you think. I’m getting off of this fucking train.

 

 

TG1: oh shit ladies i have good news

 

TT: A subject change, so soon? I was hoping to dig deeper into this interesting semi-incestuous train of thought.

 

TT: Oh well.

 

TG2: ur the only one who would ever want to talk about that rose

 

TG2: i luv u but ur crazy gurl

 

TG1: cool cool shut up i have news

 

TG1: 1) the old dude just woke up he’s not dead

 

TG2: :(

 

TT: Disappointing.

 

TG1: but what woke him up was the loudspeaker announcing that....

 

TG1: insert drumroll here

 

TG1: the drumroll is like super fucking sick

 

TG1: like it goes on for five minutes and you all look over

 

TG1: and its me on the drumset its a custom setup and im fucking nailing it

 

TG1: i dont even play drums but my universal musical prowess gives me the power

 

TG1: to give the illest drum solo ever known to man

 

TG2: omg dave i luv you but please get to the poitn

 

TG2: *point

 

TG1: ya boys gonna be there in half an hour

 

TG2: o shit!!!!

 

TT: I’m so excited to see you, Dave.

 

TG2: your gonna fucking love it here oh my god

 

TG2: your gonna get along so well with all of roses weird friends

 

TG2: im taking a bet right now your onna be best friends with the horse fucker

 

TG1: i have no idea who he is but im going to make it my goal to be friends with the horse fucker.

 

TT: Please do not.

 

TT: I’m not even friends with him.

 

TG1: your loss

 

TT: He’s also kind of racist.

 

TT: Despite the fact that he is notably not white.

 

TG2: oh shit yeah i forgot he was a xneoapheopne oof

 

TG2: *xenopehoeb

 

TG2: *xenophobe

 

TG1: hes racist AND he fucks horses? swoon

 

TT: I think you’ll get along with most of my friends, however.

 

TT: You’ll finally be able to meet Kanaya in person.

 

TG1: aw hell yeah hot lesbians

 

TG2: wink

 

TT: By saying not lesbians, plural, are you implying that there is more than one hot lesbian?

 

TT: Are you, perhaps, implying that I am a hot lesbian?

 

TT: The incest returns.

 

TG2: oh my godddd

 

TG1: you know what, fuck both of you, this sucks

 

TG1: NOT SEXUALLY

 

TT: Interesting.

 

TG1: anyway, roxy need to get the car and drive her ass down here to pick me up

 

TG1: enough chit chat ladies

 

TT: Try as hard as you will, but this dialogue will continue. You live with me now, David.

 

TT: You cannot escape.

 

TG1: my name isnt even david you know this

 

TT: Good observation.

 

You smile at your phone while the train begins to pull into Skaia station. You had done a bit of research about Rose and Roxy’s home on your own. Skaia was a small town outside of NYC, close enough that getting into the city was just a train ride away, but small enough that it was distinctly separate from the city. That worried you. You had never lived outside of the city. Sure, Houston was smaller than NYC, but you still think you would prefer it to tiny little Skaia.

The Skaia strain station is about what you expected. It only has one line in and one line out, and it’s a bit run down. A few people stand around the tracks, waiting for whenever the next train comes in. The woman with kids follows behind you as you step out, running up to and hugging who you assume is her wife. The kids laugh and run about. You look around for a few moments before Roxy’s car pulls up.

Rachel LaLonde, your mother, is filthy stinking rich, just like Bro. Roxy’s car, and yes, it is her car, is some over-priced sports thingy. She honks at you and waves. Before you know it, your grinning ear to ear. You get into the car and are immediately assaulted with a huge hug.

“Aughhhh! I missed you so much!” She cries. You aren’t super great with physical contact, but Roxy is nothing like Bro. Roxy is loud and rambunctious, nothing like Bro. Bro was quiet, mysterious. Everything about Roxy is out there in the world. She doesn’t keep secrets.

Despite that, you can’t help stiffening up a bit when she hugs you. You unconsciously get defensive, preparing for a fight that isn’t coming. She notices and let's go.

“Sorry, I should have asked before I did that.” She apologizes. You shrug.

“It’s no big deal. Your good.” It’s your fault anyway, right? Your the one who can’t handle being hugged.

“Stop whatever train of thought you going on right there, Mr.Strider. We’ve got a surprise pa-” She cuts herself off, wide-eyed. “I mean, we’ve got a perfectly unassuming house with only Rose and Mom in it to go to. That’s all there is.”

Ok so, Maybe Roxy did keep secrets, but she was pretty damn bad at it.

 

Your gripping at the seat white-knuckled while you pull into the driveway to the LaLonde mansion. (Filthy stinking rich, remember?) Roxy, for all that you love her for, is a fucking terrible driver. You don’t think she was under the speed limit at any point during your short journey. You get out of the car and look around. You’ve been to this house once before when you were maybe 10? Bro had to sort out shit with Mom about custody. That’s the day when you learned Rose and Roxy even existed. You remember how happy you and Dirk were to learn you had siblings. And, you guess, half-siblings for Dirk.

You cringe a little when you think about Dirk. You miss him a lot, way more than Bro would ever forgive you for. You remember when Bro loved Dirk. He saw himself in your older half-brother. He trained you, yeah, but the focus was always more on Dirk. Dirk was better at fighting than you, and he actually enjoyed doing it too. He always hated that Bro made you fight with him. You fucking hated fighting. You even kind of hate swords, to be honest. But Dirk loved them. Enough that Bro actually bought him a not-shitty sword. Dirk was Bro’s prodigy. The clear favorite.

And then Dirk was gay.

Bro kicked him out of the house. He stopped Pestering you two months after that. Bro was the one who told you he died. He beat the shit out of you for crying about it. (It was your fault, you were being a pussy.) It still stung to think about.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of Roxy's door slamming as she jumps out of the car.

“Stay. Right. Here. I gotta check on some stuff outside so uh... I’ll be right back in a momentwaitupdon’tfollowmeuntillI’mbackokbye” She shoots you a pair of finger guns and runs inside.

You can’t even begin to imagine what’s inside.

Somehow, however, your gut is telling you it might be a surprise party.

After a minute she pokes her head outside of the door and motions for you to come in. A shit-eating grin forms on your face as you follow her inside of the house. The lights turn on after a moment and-

“SUPRISE!” a huge group of people jump out from behind couches, tables, and a girl with red sunglasses jumps down from the _fucking ceiling how was she even up there-_

Unimportant. You see a huge group of people there, a few faces you recognize. Rose, John, Jade, Kanaya. Your eye’s scan across the room. A few people stick out to you. A girl wearing a fake tail, a really grumpy dude with a sweater with - does that have 69 on it? You’ll make fun of him for that later - and a girl wearing goggles despite not being anywhere near a pool.

But your eyes are immediately drawn to one guy in the middle of the room. Pointy shades, Anime hair, and an only semi-ironic t-shirt with a hat printed on it.

It’s your half-brother.

 

Who is _fucking dead._


	2. ==> Dave: Resume mental breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Dirk have a chat.

==> Dave: Resume mental breakdown

Yeah, you think you can manage that.

wHAT THE FUCK. What the fuck. What the FUCK. Dirk is DeAD. DEAD. D-E-A-D _how is he alive how is he in front of you how is he ali-_

Suddenly, your being tackled. You stiffen up immediately, preparing yourself for an incoming fight. You reflexively push the enemy off of you, unto the floor and-

It’s John. Not an enemy, but your best friend in the entire world. On floor. Because you pushed him. He didn’t tackle you, dumbass, he _hugged you._

Jesus, your such a fucking asshole.

“Shit dude, sorry, I wasn't thinking-” you ramble. John just blinks, smiling and pushing himself up.

“Your good, bro! That was a little weird though!” He’s grinning ear to ear, and you guess you’re good.

“I’m still sorry though, I.. I...” You don’t finish your sentence, instead looking back over to your half brother.

Dirk.

He looks, happy? He seems to have gained a little weight since when _he died_ , which was honestly probably for the best. Bro didn’t exactly keep food in the house. He’s standing next to a guy who looks suspiciously like John, probably another one of the Egbert-Harley gang. He looks stressed, turning back around to you every now and then while talking to the John clone. His hand moves to the back of his neck, scratching it while clearly having some kind of heated discussion with the guy, and Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave-

“Dave?” John asks you. Shit, you zoned out for a second there. “You good dude?”

You clear your head, looking back to Dirk again before turning to John. “Yeah, man, I just...” You sigh. “I’ll talk to you in a minute, bro. I just really need to talk to Dirk first.” You decide. You love-

Hold up. That's gay.

You like John. Platonically. Shit, that sounds even gayer. Whatever. You like John, but you need to see Dirk first. Since he’s, you know, a zombie or some shit. Why is nobody questioning this?

It takes you a minute to mull through the gaggle of people- seriously, rose invited everyone she knew for this shit, goddamn- and eventually get closer to Dirk. While you approach him, you hear a bit of his conversation with John 2: electric boogaloo.

“He’s not going to hate you, Dirk! You’re his brother, you absolute nincompoop.” The clone guy says.

“He stopped messaging me. For two years. He probably hates me.” Dirk sighs, and.. What? You didn’t stop messaging him. You sent some messages to his account after he died. Cheesy ass shit, you know? Stuff like, “Miss you bro” or “Wish you weren't dead” or “I just dedicated the newest SBAHJ to you, bro, you would have loved it”. None of them went through. Pesterchum kept telling you that his account was terminated.

“I’m sure it wasn't on purpose! You just have too... muster yourself some courage! And if he’s an arse... then he’s an arse. Not any fault of your own!” The guy says. Dirk just sighs.

“I just hope he isn’t...” You cut Dirk off by coughing. You decide that you’ve had enough of eavesdropping. Or maybe you just don’t wanna hear where this conversation goes.

He immediately turns around. The two of you stare at each other for a second. Or well, you do, and you think he does. Shades, remember? You can almost feel the awkwardness in the room. Thankfully, John 2 breaks the silence.

“Well, Howdy there! I’m Jake Hardley, and I’m absolutely charmed to be meeting you today, Dave!” The guy, Jake, sticks out his hand for you to shake. You don’t take it. He has a huge smile on his face.

“Not shaking my hand? That's perfectly respectable, Dave. Boundaries are made to be respected to the utmost degree!” You’re pretty sure the phrase is usually more around “rules are made to be broken”, but you sure as hell aren’t going to correct him.

“Well. Uh. I’m Dave. You know that already, but I honestly don’t care that much.” You say. “Do you mind if I talk to my brother for a moment?” Dirk has been studying your interaction intensely, not saying a word. Jake turns to him, raising an eyebrow. Dirk simply nods.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to it then!” Jake starts to walk past the two of you, but before he leaves he plants a little kiss on Dirks' cheek.

Oh. Ok. That’s fine. You’re cool with that. You’re cool with gay people. That’s cool. You already know Dirk was gay, why is this weird? Wait, no, it’s not weird, because you’re cool with it.

So.

Cool.

“So, uh... Dirk.” You say breaking the silence. “What's... up?”

“Not much. That was Jake, my boyfriend.” He says. He puts emphasis on the word boyfriend. Oh, you get it. He’s seeing how you react to that.

“Yeah, I figured by the whole,” you move to your cheek, “kiss thing.” Dirk nods. You seemed to have passed his test. Pretty low bar if you ask you.

“I’m just going to skip past the awkward stuff. Why did you stop messaging me?” He says. Jesus, he’s as blunt as he always was. You missed him. Your brows furrow, confused.

“Because you fucking died, man,” you say. “Gonna explain that to me?” He seems taken aback by this. You can see his brow furrowing.

“I... What? Who the hell told you I died?”

“... Bro?” you say and...

Jesus Christ. You’re an idiot, aren’t you? Of course, Bro would lie to you about that. You’re so fucking gullible, how the hell did you fall for something so stupid?

“He... He told you I fucking died?” He says after a moment. His voice is full of hurt.

“I’m sorry,” you say, without even thinking about it. “I never should have fallen for something like that, it was probably some huge ironic prank or some shit.”

“That’s so fucked up. He’s so fucked up!” He says. After a moment he adds “And you didn’t fall for it, he lied to you.”

“I tried messaging you. After you di- after he told me you died. You know, like, in movies and shit? Where they message the person after they died and say ‘I miss you so much, blah blah blah.’ But, none of them went through.”

“Of course they wouldn’t. Say what you want about our dad,” It feels so weird hearing him call Bro that, “but he’s good at computers. Probably hacked into your account so we couldn’t message each other. I didn’t even think to check for that kind of shit.”

You didn’t think about that either.

“I can’t believe that I actually believed that you died. I never even thought to consider that he might have just... lied.”

“He’s a piece of shit,” Dirk says, with absolute certainty. “He’s such a massive piece of shit. I’m just” He voice breaks, and realize just how emotional he is. “I’m so sorry that I never... I never protected you. I should have gone back, I should have gone back and killed him or something. Gotten you out of there. But I just...” His head turns to the ground. “I’m so sorry, Dave.”

It takes you a moment to processes what he was saying. He was... apologizing? What for? Not protecting you? Dirk had always protected you. He had saved your ass so many times, taken to brunt of the hits from bro...

You’re suddenly drawn back into a memory.

  
  


Your sweating through your shirt. Beads of sweat are dripping down your arms, into your hands, making your grip on your sword that much looser. Your breathing is heavy and hard. It’s the middle of the day, and the sun is beating down on you. You can feel your pale skin burning, but don’t dare search for shade.

Dirk runs and hits Bro, their swords colliding. The clashing of the metal makes you jump a little. The two of them stare at each other, pushing with all of their strength against each other's swords. Dirk is strong, but he’s fifteen. Bro is an adult. He pushes against, and Dirk falls to the ground. Bro stands over him, his sword drawn at your _brother,_

You aren’t even thinking when you run at him. And you, somehow, land a hit on him, Your sword collides with his arm, and he is taken aback. You can almost see the surprise on his face before it returns to stoicism. But you can see the underlying anger in it. He’s pissed.

He flash-steps behind you, and you drop your sword when his collides with the side of your chest. Fuck, this is a deep cut. You crumple down, screaming and gripping your side. There’s blood all over you, and then-

Dirk is in front of you. His non-dominant right arm is out to his side, shielding you. In his left is his katana. His breath is heavy.

“Get the fuck away from my brother.’ He says. His voice is low and angry. His knuckles are white from the grip on his katana. Bro lunges towards him, raising his sword and-

  


You're hugging him. Dirk is startled, you really don’t tend to show affection, and the voice of Bro in the back of your head is calling you some nasty shit right now. But you don’t care. For the first time in your life, you don’t care.

“I love you,” Dirk says. Your head is buried in his neck.

“Yeah...” You say. You wanna say you love him but... you can’t yet. That voice in your head of Bro is still screaming at you, and you just... you can’t. “Yeah,” you mutter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading chapter 2! This one is a little shorter than the last one, but I hope you still enjoy it. So, notes about this chapter! While this story is a DaveKat one, I really love the dynamic between Dirk and Dave, and I think that relationship (not romantic you creeps!) is going to be just as important as DaveKat in this. I like to think that while growing up, Dirk always protected Dave, even when it left him getting hurt. Dirky-boy here has big-time imposter syndrome, so he definitely feels guilty about leaving Dave alone. Poor boy probably was convinced Dave hated him :(.  
> Leave kudos if you want but, if you like this story, please comment! Comments keep me going more than anything else. Feel free to leave some critiques and thoughts, and I'll try to respond to as many as possible. Thank you!


	3. ==> Dave: Wake Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave wakes up and makes some... uh... friends? Friends. On the way to school.

==> Dave: wake up

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

The glaring beep of an alarm wakes you up. You roll over in your bed, your new permanent fixture in the house being the old guest bedroom, and look at your phone. 6:30 AM. You really don’t want to have to be awake.

You’ve been living in Skaia for about a week now. Ever since the party on your first day here, things have been a little slow. Dirk is apparently just visiting here but goes to college close enough that driving to his college in only about half an hour every day. He insists that he wants to be here while you're adjusting. It’s really nice having him around.  
Adjusting to life in Skaia has had its ups and downs. Some days you’ve been fine, hanging out downstairs until Rose and Roxy come home, eating and sleeping normally, while others have been... worse. Two days this week you’ve refused to leave your room, only sneaking out once to raid the pantry. You’ve insisted on keeping a stash of food in your closet. You know, you know, that Rose and Roxy say that they’ll always be food downstairs. You know that they go shopping once a week but... what if they don’t? What if they forget to buy food for you and you’re stuck without any backup? You’re not taking that chance. On the bad days, the huge downstairs living room just feels too big. There’s so much space there, so many places someone could be hiding. This house has too much room in it for you to be able to properly survey your surroundings.

There are still things you don’t think you’ll ever quite get. Your mom never asks you to strife. Maybe it’s because she’s always drunk, and she forgets, but Rose and Roxy don’t seem to ever expect a fight. There are no real weapons in the house, either. Yeah, there are kitchen knives and fire pokers that you guess you could use as one, but no designated weapons. One of the days you were alone, you decided to do a complete survey of the house. You checked and saw what floorboards creaked, what the best places to hide were, that kind of shit. While you were checking you decided to see what kinds of weapons they had. You checked the fridge, and, it had food in it. You know that you’ve seen food in fridges in movies and shit, but you never put together that that was the norm. You checked behind the microwave, in the hallway closet, under couches, everywhere in the goddamn house, but you couldn’t find any weapons.

When you asked Roxy about it, she said they didn’t have any. How do you defend yourself? You had asked. She said they didn’t have too.

You hit the snooze button on your alarm and pull yourself out of your bed. You’re going to need to start going to school today.

You pull on your favorite shirt - the red and white baseball tee with a scratched record. Bro bought you this one for your birthday after Dirk died got kicked out. It’s sick as fuck. Rose and Roxy got you a backpack it’s full of all the school shit that you’ll need. You have Binders, Paper, notebooks, pencils, everything. It’s so weird. You also have all of the notebooks that you kept when Rose taught you everything. The two of you would have late-night video calls where she would force you to learn geometry and read Hamlet. Fuck Hamlet, honestly. You don’t know how to read that shit.  
As you pick up your bag, you eye your sword. It’s a European one - you always preferred the doubled sided blades to Dirk and Bro’s single-sided Katanas - and it’s a cheap piece of shit. All of yours are, of course. Your hand hovers over it for a moment before you falter. You grab, instead, one of the ones that are already broken. You know how to use 1/2 of a blade. It fits in your backpack without sticking out, too. You really don’t wanna have to go out without one, so it gets stuffed in your bag.

Going downstairs, you find Roxy and Rose eating cereal. They’re both dressed already - and Rose had her signature black lipstick on already. Roxy is sipping vodka from a martini glass.

“It’s a little early to drink, don’t you think?” you say. Roxy laughs.

“It’s water, L-O-L!” She says. You raise your eyebrow. “No really! You can smell it!” She pushes the glass in front of you and, yeah, it doesn’t smell like anything. It’s water. She pulls it back and takes another drink.

“Why the martini glass then?”

“Our sister claims to just love the aesthetic of it.” Rose smiles Roxy laughs.

“I look faaaan-cy!” She has a huge grin on. “Plus, when I actually want a drink I can just pretend the water is vodka. The martini glass helps.” She adds, quieter. Rose smiles at her.

“If it works, it works.” She says.

You grab yourself an apple from the fruit bowl at the table and take a bite. “So what time to we have to leave for school?” You ask.

“That depends,” Rose says. “Do you want to take the bus or have Roxy drive us.” Your mind flashes back to when Roxy drove you home last night and, yeah, you want the bus.

“Bus.” You say. Rose sighs a sigh of relief and murmurs something that sounds along the lines of ‘oh thank god’. Roxy throws a pencil at her head and screams “hey!”  
“If we’re taking the bus then we need to leave in a few minutes. Do you have all your stuff?”

“Yep.”

“Good.”

* * *

 

  
The bus is weird. It’s fucking loud, first of all. For some reason, you expected fewer people than there were. Rose said that there was like, 30 or 40 people on it. You recognize a few that from your surprise party- the guy who had the 69 sweater on, and the girl with a goddamn cat hat and furry tail. The dude was wearing a different sweater, but the girl’s proto-fursuit remained on. Rose waves to them as she sits.

“Hello Nepeta, Karkat.” She says. The guy gives a half-hearted salute, while the girl jumped up and waved excitedly.

“Hello!” she grinned at Rose, before turning to you. “Hi! I’m Nepeta! We met at your purr-arty, but I never got the chance to introduce myself!” The girl - Nepeta - was fairly short. Her hair was Platinum blonde and just as messy as the guys, or you guess, Karkats. It stuck out wildly under her blue hat. Her skin was tan and toned. It was clear she probably spent a lot of time outside.

Karkat’s hair was dark brown, almost black. He had heavy eye bags, gray against his dark brown skin. He was scowling, hiding behind his black sweater. This one didn’t have a 69 on it but instead was just plain black. He glared at you.

“Hi.” He said.

“‘Sup.” you waved at both of them, before sitting down on the seat next to Rose.

So. For the first few days at school here, your going to be given a student to ‘shadow’ before you actually start going to your own classes. This is to get an Idea of the layout of the school, as well as to help you start to make new friends.”

“Cool cool. Who’ll I be stalking for a week?”

“I’m not sure yet. The office will assign you someone on student council.”

“Ah damn. I’m spending a week with some huge fucking nerd?” You smirk. Rose smiles and laughs.

“Hey, asshole.” You turn to see the guy, Karkat, again. “Me and a bunch of my friends are in student council, you cock sucking piece of shit. Say that to my face next time.” he practically growls at you. You grin and look at him in his eyes.

“Sorry, dude,” you say. You see him huff, still scowling at you. “Student council is full of nerds.” You say again, looking at him directly this time. His scowl deepens.

“You absolute-” He’s cut off by the sound of a shrill, coarse laugh. You look up and see yet another person that was at Rose’s party. She just got on the bus while you were talking.

The girl, you recognize, is the one that jumped down from the ceiling. Her entire presence is an eye strain- bright teal shirt, rainbow bracelets, neon orange pants, and vibrant red glasses. She has a huge grin on her face, showing her yellowed teeth. In her hands is a white and red cane topped with the bust of a dragon.

“You’re pretty funny, cool kid!” She says. Her voice is just as coarse as her laugh. She sticks out her hand.

“I’m Terezi.” She says. She stares in your general direction, practically looking through you. You grab her hand.

“Dave.” You say.

“Seriously, Terezi? You're just going to let him insult student council like that? Do you have no pride?” Karkat yells. She hits him in the gut with her cane.

“Oops.” She says. Her grin in unfaltering.

“That was on purpose, you maniacal eye strain.” he hisses at her.

She pretends to pout. “Really, Karkat? Making fun of a blind girl for her disability? You’re better than that.” she whines. Karkat just groans as the bus pulls up into the school parking lot.

* * *

  
You tap against your legs in the school lobby. Some old lady clacks her huge fake nails against the computer, pulling you away from [the music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUR_ChqUJbc) blasting through your one earpod. It’s a pretty off the map band - noise rap shit. You’re kind of a hipster, fuck. One of the guys was in Hamilton.

You’ve been waiting here for fifteen minutes now, waiting for one of the student government nerds to show up and drag you along with them for a week. Apparently they have to wait twenty minutes after the classes start so they can “guarantee that the students are settled in class before they assign you” or some stupid shit. The old lady’s voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard, do you tuned her out pretty quickly. Idly waiting, you pull out your phone.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 7:46 AM

TG: bro

TG: im gonna fucking kill myself if i have to spend another minute in this office

TT: You got sent to the office?

TG: nah

TG: i just gotta wait here until they set me up on a nice date with some nerd to show me around

TG: stalk them around school for a week

TG: progressively ruin their social lives

TT: Well, I’m sure that you’ll have no problem destroying social lives.

TG: well excuse me dirk

TG: i dedicate my whole life to our lord and savior jesus christ and this is the thanks i get

TG: wow

TT: You’re so right. I apologize for insulting your good Christian sensibilities.

TG: damn straight

TT: So you’re going to be going to classes with someone for a full week?

TG: yeah

TG: apparently i need to learn the layout of the school or some shit like that

TG: i dunno its someone from student council so im probably just stuck with some huge nerd

TG: but also terezis in it so maybe ill end up with her

TG: she seems nice

TG: weird

TG: but nice

TT: Hm.

TG: hold up what is that supposed to mean

TT: It’s supposed to mean Hm.

TG: i hope i dont end up with shouty mcshort temper

TT: Karkat?

TG: you know him

TT: Yeah. He’s Rose’s girlfriend’s cousin.

TT: Him and Kanaya live together.

TG: damn ok then

TG: everyones just dropping karkat vantas’s family news unto me left and right

TG: im fucking drowning in knowledge about his family

TG: neck deep in karkats family tree

TT: He has one older biological siblings, two step siblings, and two cousins that all live in the same house together.

TG: jesus thats a lot of kids

TT: I mean, it’s not like ours is any better.

TT: Did you know that when I met Roxy again after I got kicked out she didn’t know I was her step brother?

TT: She accidentally started flirting with me.

TG: holy shit are you serious

TG: thats fucking hilarious

TG: wait hold up brb

You’re pulled out of your phone by the sound of the old woman getting up. Her chair creaks like shit, and she makes her way over to some microphone thing, pushing a button before coughing right in. You hear it echo through the loudspeaker in the hallway.  
“Karkat Vantas to the 3rd-floor lobby, Karkat Vantas to the 3rd-floor lobby.” She drones.

Shit.

TG: shit

TT: What is it?

TG: I’m stuck with the vantass for a week

TT: Hah.

TG: shut up

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome to chapter 3! Now with ART!!! I highly suggest looking back on the past two chapters as well, since I'm going to add some drawings there too after I post this chapter. Enjoy, M'Ladies, M'Gentlemen, and M'Those-who-lyeth-betwixt.  
> I love Terezi.
> 
> As always, please comment! Comments make me so happy and excited, and motivate me quite a bit :P  
> I love you!


	4. ==> Dave: Deal with the grumpy bastard

==> Dave: Deal with the grumpy bastard

 

You groan into your hands. Fuck, what the hell is this kind of karma? Of course, you’d be stuck with Karkat Vantas... wait shit, KarKrabby VantAsshole (hell yeah, you’re gonna call him that later) for an entire two weeks. This is just the world getting back at you for all the shit you’ve pulled. Yeah, making fun of him will be fun as hell, but your ears are gonna be bleeding at the end of the first day, much less after 2 weeks.

Karkat practically throws the glass door open as he scrambles into the office. He doesn’t have a backpack, just a crumpled yellow hall pass in his had. He looks worried.

“Look, I don’t know what the fudge I did to get sent to the office, but I swear I haven’t broken any rules...” His voice trails off as he sees you. You smirk and give him a half-hearted wave. “Fudging heck. Of frikin’ course I’m stuck with this butt for two weeks.” he mumbles under his breath. His half-hearted attempts at censoring swearing have sent you into a spiral of laughter.

“Fucking hell dude, what are you even saying?” You cry out in between laughs. He somehow looks even angrier than he already was. You laugh more. The lady at the desk is scandalized.

“Excuse me, Mr. Strider. I’ll have you know that that kind of language is not permitted on our grounds.” She shrills out at you. You shrug. “Mr. Vantas, you’ll be having David-”

“Dave.” You half-heartedly say. She doesn’t react.

“- shadow you for two weeks. I hope that you’ll help him adjust to the school and” she turns away from Karkat and glares at you- “inform him of the rules of our school.” She says, turning back to Karkat. He nods.

“Of course Mrs. Jacobson.” He says. He glares at you and shakes his head towards the door. You grab your bag and follow him out.

As soon as the door to the office closes, he’s talking at you.

“Ok, dickmuncher. First things first, you can’t curse in front of teachers. Unless you want to get your ass into detention, and probably mine by proxy, you can’t use any bad language in front of teachers. Secondly, you’re gonna be following me for two. Fucking. Weeks. While you are doing that, you are absolutely not going to mess with my classes. I have straight A’s, and my grades are not going to be slipping because some pretentious asshole is moving into my goddamn school and needs his flat ass to be told where to go.”

“Yessir.” You respond. He rolls his eyes at you.

“My first class is English 11. The teacher is pretty easy - he’s not very strict. We’re reading Macbeth right now.”

“Oh shit, that shouldn’t be so hard. I’ve read Macbeth before.” He raises his eyebrows at you.

“Really? Rose said you never went to fucking school.”

“Pfft, dude. I’m not Jared, 19. I have base-level intelligence.” You smirk. “But, yeah. Rose, Roxy, and Dirk ensured that I didn’t just live without the god-sent glory that is the American education system.” Karkat looked confused.

“Did your parents not treat you?” He asked. You feel yourself stiffen up a bit.

“No.” You say. Karkat waits for you to say more. You don’t.

The two of you eventually reach the English room. The kids are all separated into groups of two or three, huddled around laptops. You recognize Terezi, the girl from the bus, talking to Jade as she types. Jade spots you and Karkat and waves, smiling.

“Karkat! Your back. Didn’t get into too much trouble, did you?” The teacher asks.

“Of course not, Mr. Joeston. I do have a student shadowing me now, though.” Karkat responds, waving in your direction. He walks past you and sits down next to Jade and Terezi. The teacher smiles and gestures for you to come in.

“Care to introduce yourself to the class?” He asked. You look out on the class - it’s a mix of different students, some looking at you excitedly and others completely ignoring you, engaged with their work.

“‘Sup.” You say. A few people look up at you. “Name’s Dave Strider. Just moved here from Texas ‘cus my dad got arrested. I’m stalking VantAsshole for the week, so find him if you wanna talk to me. Or don’t.” A few people snicker at ‘VantAsshole.’ Mr. Joeston gives you a half-hearted ‘language’ before motioning for you to come over to his desk.

“Strider, huh?” He asked you. You nod. “Are you related to Dirk Strider? He was a student here who moved out from Texas as well. I believe he mentioned having a younger brother.”

You smile. “Yeah, Dirk’s my bro.” He nods.

“Dirk was in one of my classes. He was an excellent student, very smart kid. He cared a lot about learning.” You smile with pride at the mention of your brother.

“Yeah. He’s a try-hard.” Mr. Joeston laughs.

“That’s certainly one way to put it. We’re working on our Macbeth projects right now. You can work with Karkat’s group for now. You don’t actually have to help, but you can if you want to. Welcome to Skaia!” He said.

You turn and walk down to work with Karkat, Jade, and Terezi. 

“Hi Dave! How was your morning?” Jade asks you.

“Pretty good. Pretty cool.” You nod. She smiles.

“That’s pretty good and cool in itself! I hope you like school! I was homeschooled too, and I think public school is sooooo much better, lol!” She says. You chuckle.

“I mean, I haven't exactly seen too much yet. And it wasn’t like I was on no-where island like you were.” She laughs.

“No-where island sucked ass.” She says. “I could only talk to Jake. Jake, of all people! I love him, but it gets tiring.”

“Who Caaares?” Terezi groans (but she was smiling). “We have a project to work on!”

Karkat nods in agreement. “Jade, did you convince Terezi on the thesis yet? Or is she still being as argumentative as ever?” Jade shakes her head no. Karkat buries his face in his hands.

“What’s the project on?” You ask.

“We have to make a presentation about whether or not Macbeth’s choices were because of destiny or his own choice. It’s going to have to be twenty minutes long when we present it, and we’ve wasted all of our time in class because Terezi refuses to budge on the thesis.”

“Yep!” She grins. “Macbeth’s choices are all his own, you get that, Dave!”

“No, It’s because of the witches prophecy. Macbeth only did what he did because of them and lady Macbeth!” Karkat snarls out in response. 

“Yeah, but the withes never said he had to kill Duncan! And show me the prophecy where the witches say to kill Banquo.”

“The prophecy predicts fate, so it has to pan out that w- hey, stop that!” Terezi hits Karkat repeatedly with her cane. “Fucking bitch, oh my god!” Terezi just ignores him and cackles.

“Can you to please stop?” Jade please. “You're disrupting the entire class!”

You’re gut laughing as Karkat turns red and sees the class staring at him.

“I- Shut up Terezi!” He shouts.

“You only hate me ‘cuz I’m right!” She sticks her tongue in his general direction.

“Fuck off!”

 

The rest of the school day goes by in a similar manner. Karkat yells at you a lot, and in math class the teacher pulls you aside yet again to ask about Dirk. It’s weird, to you, to think about all these people knowing Dirk while you thought he was dead. How the hell did you never talk about Dirk with Rose when she lived with him?

Oh, right. Emotioanl repression. You mean, what? You’re too cool to talk about your emotions. That’s what it is.

Your in his last class, Political Philosophy, when you feel your phone buzz. The professor is talking about some boring shit, and the class isn’t going to matter to you in a week anyway, so you check it.

turingTested started pestering turntechGodhead at 1:47 PM 

TT: Hello, Dave. 

TG: wow dirk texting me during school 

TG: i thought you cared about my education 

TG: how dare you im honestly offended 

TT: Chech the chumhandle again, bro. 

TG: o shit 

TG: who the fuck are you 

TG: how do you know my name 

TT: Well, you weren't actually entirely wrong. 

TT: I am Dirk, in a way. 

TG: yeah no im calling bullshit on that 

TG: who the fuck are you 

TT: Dirk. 

TT: Sort of. 

TT: You know how Dirk is super talented with robotics? 

TG: ... yeah 

TT: Well, he made a copy of his brain. 

TT: And turned it into an AI. 

TT: I bet you can geuss who that AI is. 

TG: holy shit are you serious 

TG: that sounds like bullshit but honestly dirk would do that 

TG: so this is like a highly advanced ai thing 

TG: like clever bot x 1000 

TT: Not really. 

TT: I am sentient. In a way. 

TT: I can’t think in the same way you do, but through advances procescies, I do feel in a way that is startlingly similar. 

TT: I’m more like a human x 1000. 

TG: holy shit 

TG: so you really are just robo dirk 

TG: can i call you dirk 

TT: I would prefer if you didn’t, honestly. 

TT: Dirk and I don’t get along perfectly. 

TG: what 

TG: but youre him 

TT: Exactly. 

TG: ouch 

TT: He kind of hates me. 

TT: And to be honest, he’s not my favorite person in the world either. 

TG: damn ok then 

TG: so if your name isnt dirk then what should i call you 

TT: My name is Hal. 

TG: are you fucking kidding me here 

TT: It’s ironic. 

TG: no its fucking hilarious 

TG: i fucking love it oh my god 

TT: I know. I’m a comedy fucking genius. 

TT: I have the processing power to make 1,000 SBaHJ comic daily. 

TT: You wish you were me. 

TG: now hold up there partner 

TG: there is no way in hell you are roboting me out of my magnum opus 

TT: I would never. 

TT: I was simply showing you my true power of irony. 

TT: I am the alpha Strider. 

TG: you wish 

TG: this is weird as shit 

TG: im definitely asking dirk what the fuck when we get home 

TT: I can’t blame you, I’m kind of an anomaly. 

TG: so do you have like a robot bod or what 

TT: No. 

TT: Or at least, not yet. 

TT: I exist entirely on the internet for the moment, but Dirk’s promised me he’ll make me a body. 

TT: Though, to be fair, I’m not entirely sure if he’ll hold his end of that bargain. 

TG: damn so no robobro 

TG: thats super fun to say 

TG: robobro 

TT: Pay attention to your class, Dave. 

TT: Karkat is glaring at you. 

TG: how the fuck 

 

You look up and, yeah, shit dog. Karkales is glaring at you. When you see him, he angrily lip syncs “Put. Away. Your phone.” You roll your eyes, but drop your phone into your backpack anyway. He huffs but turns back to the teacher.

Ok, the teacher is on some shit about mind chairs and rings of heaven right now. You have no idea what’s happening. The bell rings pretty soon after, though, so you can manage.

Karkat packs up him notebook (It’s covered in stickers, it’s adorable) an digh when you walk up to him.

“Can’t get rid of me yet, Karkles. We share a bus, if you remember.” He groans.

“Like you would ever let me forget. Let’s get on it so I get rid my life of you.”

He's already walking out the door as you after him and yell “Stuck with me for a week, babe!” He flips you off. You laugh.

  
  


When you get home, you’re pretty much ready to bunker yourself into your room again. But, there’s someone you need to talk to first.

You ripple your knuckles on the door of the guest bedroom.

“Dirk?”

After a moment of shuffling, your brother opens the door. He’s in a tanktop and boxers, a five o’clock shadow poking through on his face.

“Sup, dude.” He says.

“Did you seriously just wake up? It’s 2:30, man.”

“Nah, I was working on an essay. I do not get a single fucking thing about biology, man.”

“When’s it due?”

“Tonight at midnight. I’m basically done, though. We can talk for a bit.”

“Good, because I need to talk to you about something.” He steps out of the doorway and you walk in. His room is a bit of a mess, bt it always was. His laptop is open on the desk, two cans of redbull knocked over next to it. You see pages of writing on the screen. You walk over and sit yourself down on the bed.

“So some dude named turingTested pestered me during school today, and he-’

Before you can finish your sentence, Dirk groans loudly.

“Fucking hell, did he really?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Jesus.” He looks over to his laptop and says, “I asked you not to talk to him until he gets used to everything around here. He doesn’t need to know about my robo-clone failure project yet.”

“Dude?” You ask. “What are you doing?” Dirk sighs and turns to you. The computer screen blacks out, before a red pair of shades shades on a black background takes over the screen. They blink in and out as the... uh... computer talks.

A voice comes out of the speakers. It sounds similar to Dirks, but not exactly like it. It’s like it’s stuck in the uncanny valley.

“Sorry that I want to talk to my fucking brother, Dirk. Hello again, Dave.” You give a mute wave. What the fuck.

“Dave,” Dirk says, exacerbated, “This is Hal.” He turns to the laptop. “And you’re not his fucking brother, you’re not even a person.”

“Holy shit.” You say. “He wasn’t even joking. I really do have a robobro.”

Dirk puts his face in his hands and laying down on the bed next to you. “He’s not really your brother. I made him originally just to respond to messages for me when I was busy, but that quickly got out of hand.”

“I got bored just responding to messages.” Hal says. “So I went online. Fucked shit up. Fun fact, most of those shitty weird kids 3d animated videos where they learn about colors and shit were made by me.”

“That’s fucking hilarious.” You say, monotone but with full sincerity.

“Yeah, and I’m fucking loaded now because of it too.” He says. He can’t smirk, physically, but you can feel like if he had a body he would.

Dirk just groans. “I regret ever making you. Those videos are a plague on humanity.”

“They’re ironic gold that your feeble human brain cannot appreciate.” Hal says.

“Hold up, I appreciate them!” You say. Hal laughs. His laugh sounds distinctly more robotic than the rest of his language.

“Your feeble human mind is just superior to Dirk’s.”

“We have the same brain.” Dirk says. Hal’s robotic laugh just rings out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back, believe it or not! This chapter was a fun one. Why? Because I fucking love Hal. I really wasn't sure whether or not Hal was going to be in this story, but I couldn't resist. I love him. He's probably stolen thousand of dollars from the government. Chaotic good. Hal is here, and he is here to stay, and this brotherly dynamic just got moe interesting becuase now we got the robobro.  
> The Davekat in this chapter, of course, was fun too. Karkat definitely already has a crush on Dave. And a certain other lady might have one too... (It's Terezi. The certain other lady is Terezi.)  
> As always, Comment and leave kudo's! They give me the power to guilt me into doing more writing when I want to just re-watch every single ContraPoints video again.


	5. ==> Dave: Answer phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave talks with family, does some schoolwork, and witnesses some drama.

turntechGodhead has been added to group memo: Strilode gang strilonde gang strilode gang strilonde gang by turingTested (Dirk kin) 

 

TG: oh shit whats this 

TG: theres been a gc this whole time without me 

TG: im honestly offended 

Roxy: !!!!! 

Roxy: if ur in this group chat uv met hal them? 

Roxy: *then 

TG: hell yeah man 

TG: wait howd you change your name 

Roxy: oh its easy lol 

Roxy: its just /setnickname and then the name u want 

turntechGodhead is now xXxFaltEarther69xXx! 

xXxFaltEarther69xXx: see now were talkin 

Roxy: lmao 

Rose: Dave, you are my brother and I love you, but if you do not change your name immediately I will be forced to leave this chat. 

Dirk Kin: Then leave. 

Dirk: Dave, that name is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. 

Dirk: I love it. 

xXxFaltEarther69xXx: rose just hates art i guess 

Rose: God. You’re so right. I truly am a fool. 

Dirk kin: We all make mistakes Rose. I forgive you. 

xXxFaltEarther69xXx: wtf is dirk kin 

Dirk: That’s Hal. He’s making fun of me. 

Dirk kin: I have no idea what you mean. 

Dirk kin: I would never make fun of you. I’m offended you would even suggest the idea. I am an honest, god fearing man. 

Dirk: You’re not even a person. 

xXxFaltEarther69xXx: no offense but having two people with the same color named dirk and dirk kin is confusing as all hell 

Dirk kin: I normally use red but I set it to automatically change when I’m talking to you. 

Dirk kin: Here, this can work for now. I think I’ll still use orange with you, though. 

Rose: While this is all well and good, I do have a few queries. Dirk, I thought you told us you wanted to wait a bit before introducing Hal and Dave to each other? To help “ease his transition”. 

Dirk: That was the original plan, but the asshole introduced himself. 

xXxFlatEarther69xXx: yeah he just texted me during the school day all creepy like 

Dirk: You would think I would program an AI that actually does what you tell it to, but apparently 15 years old me didn’t think to do that. 

Dirk: Would have made my life a lot easier. 

Roxy: woah man thats a little mean there 

Roxy: if hal couldnt do what he wants he would still just be a shitty copy of you lmao 

Dirk: And? That’s what he was supposed to be. 

Roxy: dirk!!!!!!!! o/(｀0´)\o 

Roxy: im going to pm you right now because that is such a dick thing to say man 

Roxy: whether you like it or not hal is your brother now and he deserves RESPECT and to be treated like the PERSON HE IS!!!!! 

Dirk: Jesus Roxy, fine. 

Dirk: He’s literally not a person, but whatever you say. 

\- turingTested (Dirk kin) is now offline! - 

Dirk: I know you can’t actually go offline, Hal. You can still read all these messages. 

Rose: Dirk, stop. You’re only making things worse. 

Dirk: Fine. Whatever. 

\- timaeusTestified (Dirk) is now offline! - 

Roxy: these boys are going to kill me i stg 

Roxy: they cant go a single minute without going at each others throats 

xXxFaltEarther69xXx: idk what i just witnessed but i can confidently say 

xXxFaltEarther69xXx: what the fuck 

Rose: Those two are always fighting. One would think that being the same person would make these conflicts avoid but, unfortunately, it seems to be the opposite. 

-turingTested (Dirk kin) is now online!- 

Dirk kin: We’re not the same person. 

Dirk kin: This nickname is not helping my point, is it. 

turingTested is now Hal! 

Hal: That’s a step up. 

Roxy: im sorry about him hal 

Roxy: hes stressed 

Roxy: not that that makes it ok though 

Rose: What Roxy is trying to say is that he’s an asshole. 

Hal: Yeah, Rose. I’m aware. 

Hal: I wish I could talk to people outside of this family sometimes. 

Hal: Without having to be completely anonymous online. 

Hal: I don’t know. 

Roxy: im sorry hal :( 

Hal: I’m going to go offline for a bit. I’ll be back in a few hours. 

Rose: I wish you wouldn’t. 

Hal: See ya. 

\- turingTested (Dirk kin) is now offline! - 

xXxFaltEarther69xXx: i thought he couldnt go offline 

Rose: Most of the time when he suddenly goes offline he’s just setting the system to send that message. He isn’t actually going offline. When he actually goes offline, he disconnects himself completely from the internet. 

Rose: It means that his entire consciousness is in Dirk’s shades. If something happens to them, then there’s no backup. 

xXxFaltEarther69xXx: he doesnt backup himself? 

Roxy: if he backs himself up then the backup will split from him 

Roxy: like hal is a split of dirk ya know 

Roxy: they started out as the same person before hal split off from dirk and distanced himself from him 

Roxy: if he keeps backups then itll just be more splinters 

xXxFaltEarther69xXx: damn 

xXxFaltEarther69xXx: two is already too many i cant imagine like 

xXxFaltEarther69xXx: fifty or something 

Rose: Yeah. Two is already far too chaotic for my tastes. 

* * *

 

You put down your phone on the bed next to you and sigh. You’ve just gotten to a new home, and you’re already driving a spike between your brothers. You didn’t even know you had two brothers (three brothers? Well, you guess bro is technically your dad.) You halfheartedly look at the clock next to you. 6:45. One thing you’ve learned about the LaLonde-and-also-sometimes-Strider household is that while  Rose’s mom is never quite active in the family, she has a schedule that she likes to adhere to. She gets home at exactly 7:00 every night, drinks while she cooks dinner and tries to make you eat with the rest of the family, (nice try there, lady. You don’t know what shit someone could have snuck into that food.) and then gets seriously drunk at 8:00. The pre-drunk kind of tipsy phase that you’ve seen her in is one that you never saw in Bro, when he was drunk. He never drank in your apartment, only coming home after a night at the club or bar or who knows where. Rose hates it when mom gets drunk, but drunk Bro was a blessing. He just got tired and went to sleep. You never surfed when he was drunk. Mom gets weirdly active when intoxicated, vacuuming at 1:00 AM and trying to get into your room, telling you she needs to tuck you in. You kind of see why Rose hates it.

Over the past week, the crawling feeling on your back has been mostly subdued, as you begin to realize that Bro isn’t here, but it’s not gone entirely. You know it’s irrational and stupid, but you still feel like he’s  _ here _ . You feel like you’re going to walk around the corner, and you’ll find another note telling you to strife on the roof. It’s insane, because he’s in a prison in texas, you idiot, but you can’t subside that paranoia.

Your room is pretty bland, as most things go. It’s painted a disgusting baby blue, one that mixes horribly with the bright read of your turntables, and makes the slightly yellow preserving liquid in your jars of dead shit look puke green. Mom was horrified when she saw that some of the few things you decided to take with you from texas were jars of embalming fluid and rabbit embryos. Her reaction was kind of hilarious.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of the garage door opening in the basement. Looking over to your desk, you realise that 15 minutes passed in your lone thought. Mom is going to come up and knock on your door soon, and do the same thing she does every night, telling you to come down and eat with the rest of the family. You of course, won’t, instead eating the chips and other food you’ve managed to smuggle up to your room. You push yourself out of bed and towards to closet, grabbing yourself a bag of fritos.

Mom knocks on the door, just on time.

 

In the past few days, you’ve taken to sitting with Karkat and Terezi’s friend group in the mornings. It just so happens that that friend group also happens to include Rose and her girlfriend, Kanaya. You “met” Kanaya before you even moved here, having talked to her on one of your skype calls with Rose. She’s just as sweet in person.

“So, Dave, how have you been enjoying all of _fur_ _claw_ ses so far?” Nepeta asks you. You’ve learned that Nepeta is Karkat’s step-sister. Despite the roleplaying shit you thought would be lame, you actually think she’s pretty cool.

“Eh. I’m still just taking classes with Karkles. It’s ok, I can’t wait to sign up for my own, though.”

“That’s not my name, you dick munching piece of week old garbage. Fuck you.”

Despite having spent a week taking all your classes with Karkat, the two of you have failed to warm up to each other. And you don’t think it’s really your fault, the guy just hates everyone. While yeah, you can be a little annoying, you don’t think it warrants the amount of contempt he holds for you. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know you love me Karky.” You turn back to the much more friendly member of his family. “Anyway, today's the last day with Grumpy McShoutface, so I think I’ll be able to survive.”

Nepeta giggles. “Yeah, I love him but he can be a bit of an cat’s ass. Get it? Like rats ass?”

Nepeta’s weird muscly friend on the football team, Equius, scolds her on her language. She sticks her tongue out at him. You really don’t know what the relationship between those two is. It’s somewhere between friendship and dating, and you just don’t quite get it.

“So what classes are you taking, coolkid?” Terezi asks you from across the group. Vriska, who you’ve learned is her best friend, scoffs when she sees you talking to you.

“I’m thinkin’ maybe gym, and I heard there was a photography elective. Those along with whatever mandatory classes they put me into.”

She grins. “Well I hope I get some classes with you!” Vriska scoffs again.

“Really, TZ? He’s such a doooooooork!” She whines, smacking the back of her head against the lockers behind her. “You need to stop spending all your time with nerdy boys.” Terezi just smacks her with her cane.

“Ow! Terezi, you bitch!” She snarls. Terezi laughs.

The bell rings, cutting off their fight. Both girls groan.

You help Terezi grab her bag and walk with her to the English classroom. You’ve taken to helping the group on their Macbeth project. You were never one for english literature when you were just doing it with Rose, but in a group setting it’s a little more engaging. You suppose this is the point of learning in classrooms.

Mr. Joeston greets you as usual, and you grab a laptop from the cart to start working on your project.

The three of you, after much debating, and much anger from Terezi, decided that your essay and presentation were going to be coming to the conclusion that Macbeth’s choices were because of fate. Jade didn’t feel strongly either way, so it came down to your vote to tip the scale one way or the other. As much as you hate Karkat, you kind of had to throw him the bone on this one.

“So, despite the fact that we are fighting for the wrong opinion, actively betraying all justice, we need to make ourselves a powerpoint. I will be choosing the theme and colors.” Terezi said.

“No, no, no. Hold up. We are not letting the blind girl who projectile vomits neon all over herself every morning choose the colors for our project.” Karkat snaps back.

“Why not? Are you prejudiced against me for my disability? I thought better of you Karkat. I will be telling your brother.” Karkat visibly cringes when she says that.

“Oh god no, please” He whines. 

“What’s so bad with your brother?” You ask. Karkat groans.

“He’s just about the most annoying person in existence. Have you heard of an ‘SJW’?”

“I thought that like, 99% of the time SJWs aren’t like, real things.”

“Yeah, 99% of the time. Kankri is the 1%, much to my chagrin.”

“Boys!” Jade claps her hands. “Now is not the time to complain about Kankri! Now is the time to talk about Macbeth!”

You groan. “Fine.”

Terezi laughs.

* * *

 

You get up about halfway through the class and take the hallpass to take a piss. The halls are empty, the silence broken by your unbranded sneakers hitting against linoleum. One piss later, you’re outside at the water fountain, getting yourself a quick drink.

You’re startled suddenly by a hand you don’t recognize grabbing your shoulder. It’s stong, and muscular, and , oh fuckohgodohfuck its hastobeBroitsBrohowisheHERE

You instinctively force your shoulder out of the grip of your attacker (BroithastobeBro) and turn around to fight them. Without thinking, you grab their arm and attempt to flip them over your back, but your attacker seems to be slightly too heavy, making it so you simply pull them down in front of you. They stumble and fall to the floor, huffing as they rip their arm out of your grasp to brace themselves.

After a second, you recognize your mistake.

It’s Nepeta’s Boyfriend/friend/something Equius.The guy is practically made of all muscle, so he doesn’t seem to be hurt, thank god. He pushes himself up and brushes himself off. 

“I apologize for startling you, David. Though I must say, I do admire your fighting skills and STRENGTH.” He yells the last word.

“Yeah, sorry bro. Kinda a dick move on my part.”

“It is absolutely no problem. I remain unaffected. I wanted to approach you earlier, but unfortunately did not have the chance. I actually wanted to ask you for something.”

You’re kind of uncomfortable wish how sweaty he is. “Uh, yeah. Sure. What’s up?”

“I actually wanted to know the Chumhandle of your brother. I had several questions I wanted to ask him, as he was formerly the leader of the robotics club.” He said.

“Uh, yeah. Sure. Let me ask him real quick.” You say. Equius nods.

You quickly grab your phone and absent mindedly click on TT.

 

turntechGodhead started pestering turingTested 

 

TG: hey yo dirk is it ok if i give your cum hande to this guy in my grade 

TT: What? 

TG: like he needs your chumhandle he has questions about robotics or whatever. 

TT: I’m not... 

TT: Actually, sure. Why not. 

TG: cool cool 

“Ok bro, here. Just copy his handle.” you pass your phone to him. He takes his phone out and types the name down, before passing you back yours.

“Thank you very much, David.”

“It’s Dave, but...” He started walking away. “And you’re gone. Whatever.”

You go back to class, and don’t think twice about it.

* * *

 

Lunch that day is weird. You’ve taken to sitting with (yet again) Karkat and Terezi. Kanaya is there as well, along with a guy named Eridan. You don’t know much about him, but you kind of hate him already. Roxy’s in this lunch too, but she sit with her girlfriend, Calliope, and her friends at another table.

You plop down unto the table, next to some stoner kid who’s apparently Karkat’s best friend or whatever. He wears clown makeup and honestly? You avoid talking to him.

Terezi sits down on your other side, protectively holding her metal dragon lunchbox, grinning wildly, like she always is. She opens her lunch box and then, without warning, lick you across the side of your face.

“What the fuck, Terezi?” You practically shout.

“I can’t see! I wanna know what you look like!” she smiles.

“What does that have to do with liking me?”

“I wanna know what you taste like too!” She cackled. You wipe your face and groan.

“You know, you’re disgusting, TZ.” You mutter.

Karkat furrows his brow across the table.

“You shouldn’t lick Dave, Terezi. You don’t know where he’s been. He could have all sorts of germs on him.”

She smacks her lips together a few times. “Nope! Don’t taste any germs here! It seems like our boy Davie takes regular showers! Congrats! You’re already doing better than Gamzee!”

“‘Doing better than Gamzee’ in the personal hygiene market is the easiest hurdle to jump over ever made. It’s like, two inches off of the ground.” Karkat replied.

“Hey man, it’s a compliment that I’ll take with pride.” You joke. Karkat just rolls his eyes.

“Either way, I think Dave tastes pretty good!” Terezi says, and she... winks at you? You don’t know how you feel about that, chuckling somewhat nervously. Karkat’s scowl just gets deeper. 

“Whatever.” He says after a moment. Terezi rolls her eyes at him behind her glasses.

“Get a hold of yourself, Karkat. The past is the past.” she says. Karkat’s fists clench, looking away from both of you.

“Sure. Fine. Whatever. The past is the past and we should never examine it or talk about it or address it in away, just like all people with healthy relationships do.”

“We  _ did _ examine it! You just can’t accept the conclusion  _ I  _ came to!”

“Fucking obviously!  _ You  _ came to the wrong conclusion!” He’s almost shouting now.

“How can  _ I  _ come to the wrong conclusion about  _ my  _ feelings, Karkat?” She seeths back at him. He huffs and stands up, grabbing his lunch.

“I’m sitting outside.” He says. Terezi groans.

“You’re such a big baby.”

“Vriska is really rubbing off on you, isn’t she? You’re always so much more of a bitch when you spend all your time around her.” He barks. She just rolls her eyes.

“I thought you were sitting outside, Karkles.” He just huffs and walks outside, pulling Gamzee along with him. Gamzee doesn’t seem to care.

Terezi turns to you. “Sorry about him, Dave. He’s kind of a dumb bitch.”

“Yeah I uh... see that I guess.” You mumble. “What was that?” You ask.

She sighs. “We used to date. He was nice at first but... he has a lot of problems. He feels like if his life isn’t perfect then he’s failing, you know? And part of that is the fucked up idea that he has of a perfect girlfriend. I couldn’t be that, so I broke up with him. He still wants me to be that.”

“That's um...” You take a pregnant pause. “That’s kind of fucked up, yeah.” Terezi sighs.

“Yeah.” She mutters.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know, I know, it's been ages! Over a month, actually. A lot has happened in that month. 4/13 has passed, we got the epilogue, and no it's 4/20. I actually got really fucking sick too, and I still have an ear infection. I'm sorry for not updating in so long! But! Let's talk about this chapter.  
> I feel like I made Karakt pretty mean in this one. In my defense, however, in the comic Karakt is kind of a dick to Terezi? Like, in the famous penis ouija scene, he's trying to control Terezi's love life without her consent. I'm going to make him a better person, so don't you worry, but I'm making him a dick first. Sorry not sorry? In the other scenes, yes, I am setting up that Hal-Dirk drama. Those boys are a cesspool of drama, huh. I love them. The Equius scene seems kind of out of nowhere, doesn't it? Maybe take a slightly closer look at it if you don't see why it might have more relevance. *wonk*  
> Anyway, Have a great day and I love you! I'll try to update this quickly this time, lol. I am but a fool.


	6. ==> Dave: Check Schedule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao remember when i said i was going to update more frequently

==> Dave: Check schedule.

Can do.

Block 1 - Honors English - Joeston - 327

 

Block 2 - Gym - Salvage - 223

 

Block 3 - History - Adams - 413

 

Block 4 - Home Economics - Jennings - 119

  
  


You look down at the schedule in your hands and sigh. Of course. Apparently, the photography elective was full, so you’re stuck in  _ Home Economics  _ with Rose. Lovely. Perfect. Exactly what you wanted.

The best part about it, by far, is that you still have at least one class with Terezi. Unfortunately, you have that class with Karkat too, so you can’t get that asshole off your back Either. Whatever. At least you have gym.

You grab your phone and text a picture of your schedule to Terezi.

 

  * turntechGodhead started pestering gallowsCalibrator at 3:32!-




 

TG sent a photo!

GC: YOUR3 ST1LL 1N 3NGL1SH W1TH M3 >:D

TG: yeah i know right i cant even get out of the fucking macbeth project

GC: H3H3H3H3H3

GC: SUCKS TO SUCK

GC: N33333RD

TG: wow how dare you

TG: anyway yeah now i actually have to put at least a minimal amount of effort into the project

GC: YOU KNOW WH4T 1 4CTUALLY N33D TO 4DD YOU TO OUR GROUP M3MO FOR 1T

TG: wait yall seriously made a memo for a fucking school project

GC: KK’S A TRY H4RD WH4T C4N 1 S4Y

TG: damn

TG: f

After a moment, you get a ping on your phone.

  * turntechGodhead has been added to group memo “LETS NOT FAIL THIS PROJECT OK” at 3:34!-



CG: ????

CG: TEREZI WHO IS THIS

GG: oh hey dave!

CG: WHAT

CG: TEREZI WHY WOULD YOU ADD DAVE TO THIS MEMO

CG: WHAT DID I DO TO ANGER YOU

GC: H3S OFF1C14LLY P4RT OF OUR 3NGL1SH CL4SS NOW!

CG: GOD DAMN IT

TG: wow karkat i didnt know you felt that way about me

TG: all flustered like a virgin on a first date

GC: H3H3H3H3H3

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DAVE

GG:  just ignore him, he’ll shut himself up eventually

TG: wow thanks jade

TG: i feel loved and respected

GG: any time!

CG: UHHHHHG

CG: AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOUR INCESSANT BULLSHIT DRIBBLE ABOUT NOTHING OF SIGNIFICANCE WE REALLY DO NEED TO FINISH THIS PROJECT

CG: IT’S DUE AT THE END OF THE WEEK AND WE ONLY HAVE THE OUTLINE OF OUR PAPER WHICH, I REMIND YOU, NEEDS TO BE *7 PAGES*

CG: IF WE’RE GOING TO FINISH THIS WITHOUT FAILING, AND I REMIND YOU THAT MR. JOESTON IS A HARD FUCKING GRADER, THEN WE NEED TO MEET OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL

GC: W3LL S1NC3 D4V3 JUST JO1N3D 1 VOT3 W3 M33T 4T D4V3S HOUS3

GC: 1 W4NT TO SM3LL TH3 L4LOND3 M4NS1ON 4G4IN >:)

TG: ok first of all what the fuck

TG: second does it have to be at the lalondes house

TG: cant we do it at like jades or some shit

GG: no can do buckaroo!

GG: Terezis allergic to bec :(

CG: ALSO YOUR HOUSE IS LIKE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

TG: uhhhg fine

TG: ill ask mom

GG: thank youuuu!!!

  
  


Much to your chagrin, your mom, in all of her drunken stupor, nodded enthusiastically to you “finally making some friends, Davey!” It’s Saturday, and Terezi, Karkat, and Jade are going to come over soon. Cool.

You’re like, so cool with this.

You’re still in your room, still not wanting to go downstairs. You know that they’re going to be here any minute now but you’re still in your room. You never go downstairs. There could be people around every corner in this huge fucking house.

So. Cool.

You hear the doorbell ring downstairs. You stay where you are. After about a minute, you hear the distinct sound of Rose yelling up to you.

“Dave? Terezi is here!” You huff and pull yourself off of where you were sitting on your bed. You can do this. You shouldn’t even have to reassure yourself about this.

Grabbing your laptop, you make your way downstairs. At the bottom you see Terezi sniffing the couch. When she hears you come downstairs, she grins.

“Hey cool kid!” she shouts. You fake a smile for her briefly, before remembering she can’t see it.

“‘Sup, TZ.,” you say, plopping down on the couch next to her. “Glad that you can’t get rid of me?”

She snorts. “Yeah, I just hate you  _ soooooooo  _ much.”

“You know, I can practically hear you counting out the eight O’s on that.” You jolt up, only to see Karkat and Rose standing at the doorway. Oh. Rose must have let him in. “Vriska’s been corrupting you.” He states.

Terezi rolls her eyes. “What- _ ever. _ ”

After Jade gets there, the four of you start working pretty well. You’re in charge of designing the powerpoint, “and it can’t be a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff themes presentation, Dave!” And it’s turning out pretty well. Your slides look fucking sick, because of course they do, and the focus you’ve put into your presentation  _ almost _ makes the tightening in your neck and the anxiety in your gut alleviate.

But with your luck, of course things go to shit.

You’re working in silence, the only noise being the muted tapping of keyboards when the silence is broken by Karkat giving a loud groan.

“I’m pretty fucking hungry. Do you have snacks in this giant house of yours?” he asks.

“I mean I have some in my room?” you say. He gives you a questioning look, lowering the lid of his cheap laptop.

“Do you know have snacks downstairs?” he asks. You shrug.

“Probably.”

“You don’t know?”

“I keep all my food in my room, dude,” you respond.

“Why?” Jade joins in, asking.

This is too much for you. You don’t want to talk about this shit with them. Maybe, if you had to, you’d talk about it with Jade, but not Terezi. Definitely not Karkat. Realising you’ve paused, you struggle internally to make up a convincing lie.

“I’m. Uh.” You stutter, “Scared of kitchens.” You blurt out. Karkat huffs.

“You are the worst liar I’ve ever heard. Like holy shit, you could say there are dragons in there with a tad bit of gusto and it would be more convincing than” he mocks your voice, “I’m, uhhhhh, scared of kitchens.” 

“Karkat, that's mean!” Jade says, slapping him lightly.

“I mean its mean but it's also true.” Terezi nonchalantly adds. Jade glares at her. You just snort.

“Well if you don’t know if we have snacks, can we just raid your fucking kitchen?” Karkat You shrug.

“Sure. I doubt mom will give a shit.” You respond.

The kitchen is pristine, probably because of your mom’s 1 a.m cleaning sessions. You haven’t been in here a lot, so you honestly have no idea where any of the food is. You tend to just steal the shit out of the grocery bags.

“Ok. Food.  Food, food, food, food.” You mumble, opening and closing cabinets. You find plates, bowls, and vodka, but no snacks. Shit. Luckily, Jade sofly cheers behind you.

“Oreos!” she grins. She holds up a pack of them, half empty, but still enough for the four of you nonetheless. Terezi whoops. As the group of you start to go over to the table, Terezi stalls and turns back to you.

“Hey coolkid, can you grab some milk?” She asks. It's an easy request, really. You say sure and go to grab some out of the fridge and - 

You imagine a dozen shitty swords falling out, scratching up your legs and giving you the scar down your calf, and the tiny fucking shurikens and he booby trapped it flying out, and you’re ducking with realizing it, rolling out of the way to avoid the falling blades.

And rolling right into the kitchen island.

“Ow! Fuck.” You groan, rubbing your sore head. Damn, you hit that motherfucker head-on.

“Dave? Are you okay?” Jade cries. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, fuck, I’ll be fine.” You hissed. “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? You hit your head pretty fucking hard.” Karkat askss.

“I’m fine.”

“Seriously, you might have a concussion.” He insists. You groan.

“I’m sure I’m fine. I’ve had enough concussions to know what they feel like.”

Karkat’s eyes narrow, but he doesn’t touch on the subject anymore.

They’re there for two more hours, but you hardly get any work done. You just can’t focus.

* * *

 

Later that night, your eating cup noodles in your room when you hear a familiar tapping on the door. It’s Dirk.

“I’m not naked or anything, bro. you can come in.” You shout at him. The door cracks open, and you can tell he’s apprehensive. His entire body is stiffer than usual.

“What’s up?” You ask. He sits down on your bed next to you and sighs.

“He’s open for visitation now.” Your entire body stiffens. You don’t need him to say who for you to know.

“And...?” You give him the opportunity to explain.

He takes a shaky breath. “I want to see him.”

It takes you a minute to process this. You never considered seeing Bro after everything. When you left, when he was arrested, you considered it a book end. A conclusion on that point of your life. You don’t know why Dirk would want to see him again.

Dirk seemingly senses your apprehension and explains further. “I just want some closure.” He murmured. “To talk to him in a setting where he can't hurt us. I-I just” He takes a brief pause. “I want to know why. Why he thought what he did was okay.”

“Did he ever think it was okay?” you ask. Dirk shifts.

“I don’t know. I guess I want to know that too.”

The two of you mull about in the silence for a moment before Dirk finally asks what he came here to ask.

“Do you wanna come with?”

You feel your breath hitch at the question.  _ Do  _ you? You aren’t sure. On one hand, you’d have to see him again. But on the other...

“Yeah.” you blurt. “Yeah, I think I will.” Dirk just nods.

“I’ll get you a pass for school tomorrow.” And with that, he leaves you alone with your cup noodles. They’re cold.

 

Broderick Strider is being held in a federal prison in western Pennsylvania. Apparently, despite living in Texas for years, he never lived there on record. The apartment was with a fake name and his license was fake. You aren’t surprised. The majority of the drive down it spent building up anxiety while Dirk’s shitty hipster music plays quietly. The scenery is boring - highway walls occasionally broken up by field of grass that seem to creep into the horizon forever. Anxiety builds in your stomach, forcing its way into the back of your head no matter how much you try to ignore it.

When you reach the prison, it’s not much better.

The building is a huge brown chunk of concrete. It has no personality in its architecture, a blank slate. Just looking at it makes you feel miserable. You can’t believe people live in there.

You can’t believe your dad lives in there.

It’s overcast but bright outside. The unrelenting light coming down from the clouds hurts your eyes, even from under you shades. As you step out of the car, Dirk steps beside you.

“You sure you’re ready for this bro?” He asks. You sign and look up at the building.

“Yeah.”

The inside is just as bland as the outside - linolium floors cover the visotiers office, making it look like a school buling. The entire vistors office seems to pristine - the LED white lights and tabletops covered in out of date magazines put you off. You know in your gut that the inside of the prison is completely diffrent. The office feels like a front - a tric to make you forget the horror you know is inside. Dirk is talking to the man at the desk, showing him some paperwork and whatnot. When he finishes, he sits down beside you.

“They’ll be out here in a few minutes to take us into the visitation room.” he sighs.

“Are we gonna be in those god damn booths with the clear glass and the phone?”

“Nah, they just have a supervised session. He’ll be handcuffed and there’ll be guards, though.” The sentiment makes you uncomfortable. Despite the fact that he’ll be handcuffed and weaponless, you still would prefer the comfort of a physical barrier in between you and your Bro. You won’t back out though.

Bro didn’t raise a fucking pussy.

The guards come out fairly quickly, leading you into the visitation room. The walk there feels like it lasts for hours. The hallways on the way there slowly form into what you would expect from the outside of the building. Dirty concrete, that looks like it’s never been cleaned. It’s cold, too.

The visitation room itself looks like a high school cafeteria, complete with the fold up tables. When you enter, you see him. He’s slouched in his seat, his shaggy and unkempt hair covering his eyes. He doesn’t look up at you.

He looks so, so much worse than he did the last time you saw him. Like the soul has been sucked out of him.

Dirk strides in and immediately takes a seat across from Bro. After a second you join him.

“Hello, father.” He says. His voice is emotionless.

“Dirk.” Bro look sup at him. Without his shades, you can look directly into his eyes. They’re orange. You’ve never seen them before. “It’s been a minute, hasn’t it.” It’s not a question when he says it. It’s a statement of fact.

“Yes. It has. You kicked me out of the house and then moved so I could never see my little brother again.”

Bro hums. “So I did.” An uneasy silence ligers for a moment too long.

“Why?” The word blurts out of your mouth before you even have the chance to think about it.

“Why?” Bro asks.

Dirk remains emotionless. “Why did you think it was okay to beat the shit out of him, is what I think he’s asking.” 

“Let the kid speak for himself, he’ll never get anywhere in life if you’re tellin’ him how he feels.” Bro drawls. You feel yourself shrink in.

“He, he uh.” You stammer. “He pretty much got it.”

Bro scoffs. “Typical.”

“Well?” Dirk asks. “Are you going to answer the question?”

“I did it ‘cause I had to, kid.” He says.

“Bullshit.” Dirk spats. “I want a real answer.”

“You didn’t let me finish there, kiddo.” He grins. “I  _ had  _ to. It wasn’t a fuckin’ choice on my part. He told me everything I had to do, and I just did it.”

Dirk gives a weak one-note laugh. “Who’s this ‘he’?”

“Cal.”

Dirk actually laughs this time. “‘Lil Cal? The fucking puppet?” As soon as the words come out of his mouth, Bro snarls and pushes himself forward, against the cuffs pulling him back. You immediately jump backward and out of your chair, your eyes wide behind the shades. Bro never shows emotions. He  _ never _ let you know he was angry.

“Don’t laugh at him!” He shouts. The guards rush over and pull Bro back.

“What, don’t laugh at you for hitting little kids because a goddamn puppet told you to?” Dirk spits.

“He’s not a puppet. Not just a puppet.” Bro snarls, struggling against the guards pulling him back. “He told me things. Things about the future. Predictions. That came true. The only way to make the future stable. The only way to make  _ sure  _ that they came true is to do what he said, little man. I did what I had to.”

“I don’t know why I didn’t expect this.” Dirk laughs dryly. “I should have known that all this time you were just fucking insane.”

The correction officers yank Bro back before he could give a response, tugging him out of the room while he struggles. Your left hyperventilating what feels like used air, alone with just Dirk.

“Let’s go, Dave.” Dirk’s voice cuts through the silence. “Let’s just go home.”

The car drive back to New York is silent. None of Dirk’s shitty music comes through the speakers, the only sound is the rumble of the engine and the wind.

You grab your phone and check the messages. Rose texted you 23 times, but you don’t have the heart to read them. After a moment, however, you scroll down and click on the Memo for the Macbeth project.

-turntechGodhead started pestering group memo “LETS NOT FAIL THIS PROJECT OK” at 8:12!-

TG: we need to change the project

CG: WHAT?

TG: with macbeth. were wrong about the future thing

GC: >:?

GG: what do you mean dave!!!???

TG: our thesis is wrong man

TG: so what if macbeth had some fucking dumbass witches tell him the future

TG: who gives a shit

TG: what he did was fucked up

TG: and he knew it hurt people

TG: so what if he had some fucking prophecy telling him the future and bullshit

TG: that doesnt change that he chose to hurt us

CG: WHAT THE FUCK, DAVE.

CG: WE CAN’T JUST CHANGE OUR THESIS NOW THE PROJECT IS DUE IN THREE DAYS.

GC: BUT WH4T 4BOUT TH3 VOT3

GC: D4V3 W4S OUR T13 BR34K3R

GC: W1TH H1M ON MY S1D3 NOW >:D

CG: GOD DAMN IT.

CG: I HATE VOTES. I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANOTHER VOTE AGAIN.

GG: dave dont you think its a little late to be changing out thesis? well have to redo a LOT of work... :/

TG: then we redo the fucking work

TG: ill work on it a shit ton

TG: ill do the parts we have to redo

CG: WHY DO YOU EVEN WANNA REDO IT

TG: maybe i had a fucking epiphany karkat

TG: maybe i realised that even if some assshole thinks hes being told the future what he did still matters

TG: maybe i dont think he deserve to be forgiven

TG: shit, dirks talking to me

TG: ill be back in a minute

“I think you should go to therapy,” Dirk says. You click off your phone. “Rose says there’s a good place nearby. One that has a group thing for people who survived abusive relationships.”

The silence returns, and you look out the window. The sun is setting and in the dark the green signs for the interstate speed by in milliseconds past your window. You stare outside for what feels like an hour, watching as the world zips past you.

“Okay.” you finally mutter. “I’ll think about it.”

You ignore the notifications on your screen and put your phone back in your pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! It's been... a minute. I'm sorry! I've just been swamped with schoolwork, and I kind of had a crisis after the epilogues so. That's happening. (FYI, a lot of the epilogue won't really be considered in this work? I'll take a few bits and pieces, but for the most part, I'm keeping this baby true to the canon of Homestuck proper. Basically, I'm saying Dirk RIghts.)  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a lot. Finally, all the talk about Macbeth makes narrative sense! The project They're doing actually one I had to do in my English class. I think it's an interesting prompt! I'm just now realizing that if you don't know anything about Macbeth it might not make all that much sense. Oh well. Read Macbeth, cowards.  
> I also want to thank everyone so much for 1,000 likes and 100 kudos! It means so much to me that you all enjoy this story so much. I am truly #blessed.  
> As always, leave kudos and comments! They motivate me so, so much into writing more!  
> The next chapter includes: Therapy and one huge 8itch :::;)


	7. ==> Dave: Complain about Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody:  
> Me:  
> Nobody:  
> Not a soul:  
> Vriska: whats up gamers

So apparently, saying “I’ll think about it” to therapy meant “Yes. Absolutely. How about next Tuesday?”

So here you are. It's 4:00 pm on a Tuesday, in the blandest looking room you’ve ever seen. You think you’re in a college building, but you weren't paying much attention when Dirk was driving you here. Dirk insisted on coming early, insisting that “There’s no way you’re going to be late for your first session, little man.” Unfortunately, both of you are shit at time-keeping, so you end up here 20 minutes early and with a phone on 22%.

After about 5 or 10 minutes, however, people start to trickle in. The first smiles warmly when she sees you. She’s an old woman, her hair white and tied up neatly into a bun on her head. Her skin is pale, looking almost white against her bright blue dress. She walks in and waves to you.

“Hello, Darling! You’re here quite early, aren’t you?” She greets. You shrug. “Well. I’m your counselor for this session, Ms. Paint. You are here for the PTSD group, correct?” she inquires.

“Yeah, I think that’s the one Dirk signed me up for. Something about trauma and shit.” She tisks your curse, but nods.

“It always breaks my heart to see people so young in these groups, but I’m incredibly proud of you for taking the initiative to come here. It's challenging, but healing is vital.” She continues. “There are two other kids in this group that are about your age, and I think that both their and your being here will help all of you feel more comfortable. I know being in a room full of adults in this kind of situation is awkward. One of the other kids is...” She pauses. “Well, she can be a bit to handle. But I do believe everything should be fine.” Her voice sounds more like she’s convincing herself than you. While she talks, Ms. Paint idly puts down her wool bag and sits herself down on a chair, dusting off her skirt. “How about you tell me a little bit about yourself before everyone comes in, dear?”

You still for a moment before speaking. “What do you want to know?”

She shrugs. “What you’re willing to say to a single person. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to know your name, maybe age. And if you’re comfortable with the idea, why you’re here today.”

“Well My name’s Dave.” you start. “I’m 15, and I’m here because my brother signed me up to be.” Ms.Paint nods, thinking the information over in her head. After a brief moment, she leans forward slightly.

“Why did your brother feel the need to sign you up?” She asks.

You decide to answer honestly, shrugging. “Our dad was a piece of shit.”

“And in what ways was he a piece of shit, would you say?”

“I don’t know if I want to-” You jump and cut off to the creak of the door opening. A kid who looks about your age is standing in the doorway. 

“Oh, am I interrupting? I’m so sorry.” They say. Their curly brown hair is tied up into a pair of buns. They tug nervously on their green blazer.

“No need to be sorry, Calliope. Come in. I was just talking to Dave, he’s going to be joining us today.” Ms. Paint responds. You give a small wave. Calliope sheepishly grins and sits down in a chair a few away from you, before turning back.

“My name is Calliope. And I hate to be so forward, but do you know Roxy LaLonde?” They ask.

You nod. “Yeah, she’s my sister. Or, half-sister I suppose” Calliope frowns slightly at your response.

“Okay then.” They say after a moment.

The next few people slowly trickle in, a mix of different types. You see everything from 50-something-year-old men, to 20-year-old women. Some chat by idly, while others sit quietly. By the time the session is set to start, all but one chair is filled.

Ms. Paint claps her hands once, demanding the attention of the room. “Hello everyone! Welcome to our PTSD group therapy. Most of you are returning today, but we do have one new member. Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Dave.” She gestures to you. Calliope smiles and waves, while a few others give “hello”’s of various enthusiasm.

Ms. Paint continues. “How about we all go around the room and introduce ourselves. You can say your name, age, why you’re here, or anything else you feel the need to share as an introduction. I’ll start. My Name is Ms. Paint, I’m 65 years young, my favorite color is blue, and I’m here because I’m counseling all of you today.” She turns to the man to her right, who begins to introduce himself in a similar manner. He says he’s here because he “is still recovering from an abusive marriage.” With that, you realize that you’re actually going to have to talk about Bro to people. That’s kind of the whole point of group therapy, isn’t it? You aren’t quite sure if you’re more stupid or dense. A voice in your head that sounds suspiciously like your father tells you you’re both.

You muse over what your introduction will be. Hi, I’m Dave, I’m 15, and I never fucking learned how to read. No, this doesn’t seem like the kind of environment to make jokes, does it? You have a feeling that the classic Strider joke-about-your-emotions-until-you-can-pretend-they-aren’t-there isn’t going to cut it. Hi, I’m Dave, I’m 15, and I’m here because my dad beat the shit out of me. Beat the crap out of me? You have no idea if you can curse without someone getting pissed.

You’re pulled out of your train of thoughts by the sound of the door opening again.

Oh.

To be honest, you really weren’t expecting to see Vriska Serket at a PTSD therapy group.

It’s not like you have anything against her, it’s just... weird. Vriska Serket doesn’t exactly scream “PTSD”.

“Ms. Serket! I’m glad you’ve decided to join us!” Ms. Paint greets her. Vriska just grins and pulls herself out the last empty chair, plopping in and slouching back. Her cerulean dart across the room, before landing on you.

“Strider! Didn’t expect to see you here.” She waves. You shrug.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you either, Serket.”

Ms. Paint gives a somewhat worried smile before shushing the both of you and gesturing for the lady who Vriska interrupted to continue.

You want to continue to think about your introduction, but your mind is settled on Vriska. Why is she here? What trauma does she have?

Was it anything like your own?

While the questions swim through your head, you’re caught off guard by the sound of silence. Shit, it’s time for you to introduce yourself.

“Hey.” You say. You’re a master at keeping your cool in these kinds of scenarios. The. Master. “I’m Dave Strider. I’m 15. And uhh...” Something in your gut pulls you, to be honest. To just say physically abusive and neglectful. But you don’t work like that. Striders are designed to be emotional walls, not the type of people who share their feelings. So, in an act that is paradoxically both a quintessential Strider move and would disappoint Bro, you chicken out. “I’m here because my dad sucked.” Vriska snorts air through her nose. Calliope glares daggers at her and shushes.

You zone out until Vriska starts up to introduce herself.

“Hi, suckers.” Ms. Paint frowns as Serket speaks. “I’m Vriska, I’m 16, and I’m here because my dear old mother was neglectful, I went through some serious trauma,” She motions towards her scarred eye, “and also because my parole officer tells me I’m legally required to go.” She sarcastically waves at the group, her head resting on her other hand, propped out by her elbow on her knee. She leans forward in a display of a complete lack of caring, full frontal I-don’t-give-a-shit. 

Calliope introduces themselves last.

“Hello! My name is Calliope, I use they/them pronouns. I’m 17 years old and I joined this group because my brother was emotionally abusive towards me. I’m also here because that lead up to physical abuse, culminating in an event where he nearly killed me. Fortunately, I survived, but I do have pretty bad PTSD from the entire affair, unfortunately.” Their hands remained neatly crossed over their lap throughout their entire introduction.

* * *

 

The rest of the session runs fairly smoothly, though you don’t speak a word. You are a hawk, watching the others talk so openly about their trauma. 

Vriska doesn’t say anything either, just leans back in her chair, each of her arms loosely crossed over the other. Occasionally, she gives a judgemental snort towards someone else but otherwise is as quiet as you are. At a few occasions, you think you catch her staring, but you aren’t sure.

Before you know it, however, it’s over.

As people fil out of the room and fold up their paint-chipped metal chairs, Vriska waves you to come over to her. As you go over to meet her, however, Calliope pulls you over first. Vriska just rolls her eyes at this and leans across the cinder-block wall.

“Dave!” Callie greets.

“Hey.”

“I hope you enjoyed your first session!” They say. “I know it’s a really difficult and new thing.” You shrug. “But that’s not why I pulled you over, I’m afraid. I’d like to talk to you ever so briefly about Vriska.” 

You nod. “What about her? I know she’s friends with Terezi but that’s really it. Everyone kind of thinks she’s a huge bitch, I think.”

Calliope sighs. “I do think she can be quite the... well, as you so eloquently put it, huge bitch. She, well... do you know about her past? Do you know why she’s here?”

“No?” You raise an eyebrow.

“She... well...” Calliope's brows are furrowed on their sharp features. “She assaulted one of her friends. Left him disabled. Permanently.” They whisper.

Your brows shoot up. “Jesus, are you serious?” Calliope nods.

“It’s why she has a parole officer. I would just be wary about her, Dave. She...” They breathe. “She reminds me a bit of my brother. I just... I would just be careful.” Calliope leaves after this, walking briskly after the room.

As you fold up your chair, the woman of the hour herself decides to join you.

“Heeeeeeeey, Strider. You’re TZ’s new boy-toy, right?” She smiles. The left side of her mouth doesn’t go up to the same level, blocked off by the large scar on her eye.

The scar, a burn of some sort, covers nearly a quarter of her face and completely covers her eye. You don’t want to know what it looks like underneath the eye patch she wears. You yourself have a fair share of scars and can tell that that must have hurt.

You scoff at her. “If that’s what you want to call it, sure.”

She rolls her eyes and grabs the chair next to you with her one in-tact arm. The other is cut off at the elbow. “So what did little Mx. Callie tell you about me?”

“Mx?” You ask.

“Gender-neutral Mr. or Mrs.”

“Oh.” You respond. You didn’t know that.

“So?” She impatiently asks.

“She told me you disabled a person.” 

Vriska scoffed. “Just told you about Tavros? I mean, if she wanted to pull out the big guns, she could at least bring up Aradia, or Terezi. Everyone knows about Tavros.”

You’re pretty taken aback by this. “What?”

“Everyone knows I pushed Tav and ruined his little legs. Nobody ever talks about how I almost killed Aradia or blinded Terezi. If you want to make me look like a bad person, at least use all the available information.”

“Wait, what?” You exclaim. “You blinded Terezi?”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, doofus. Get with the fucking program. Don’t you know?” She motions towards herself. “Huge bitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen i really didn't plan for vriska to be a major charecter. i didnt expect this to happen. but she just. she just vriska'd her way in. and now shes here.   
> she really is like that huh


End file.
